Here is a page from the same "sepia tone" chapter of last week. This is a good example of how I've chosen to change little details to make this story my own. The emotion and the story is the same, but I've changed the blocking in which specific actions are taken and when. In the illustration, the creature realizes his opportunity with the old man and goes to confront him. The quick beating of the heart and the failing limbs happens as he stand outside the cottage about to knock. Blocking the story this way strengthens the creatures emotions and anxiety, drawing out tension. When this occurs during a moment of no return it is more effective than if it happens inside the hovel.
Here is the original text:
"...the old man, at his own desire, was left alone in the cottage. When his children had departed, he took up his guitar, and played several mournful, but sweet airs, more sweet and mournful than I had ever heard him play before. At first his countenance was illuminated with pleasure, but, as he continued, thoughtfulness and sadness succeeded; at length, laying aside the instrument, he sat absorbed in reflection.
My heart beat quick; this was the hour and moment of trial, which would decide my hopes, or realize my fears. The servants were gone to a neighbouring fair. All was silent in and around the cottage: it was an excellent opportunity; yet, when I proceeded to execute my plan, my limbs failed me, and I sunk to the ground. Again I rose; and, exerting all the firmness of which I was master, removed the planks which I had placed before my hovel to conceal my retreat. The fresh air revived me, and, with renewed determination, I approached the door of their cottage.
I knocked."
Great!
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